This is post ONE in what could be a “get-to-know-me” series… I said “could” because I’m not quite sure you’re ready for so much of my self-awareness. 😉 But for you to understand where I’m coming from you should know a little bit about me. To kick off my potential series I thought of the most salient thing about me that you should know… and it is this…
I am crazy.
Not in that wonderful Kate Winslet eccentric kind of way but more in a Katharine Hepburn no wire hangers kind of way… And while we’re on the subject of hangers I use white ones. ONLY white ones.. Not off-white or beige or like-white… Just white. Okay? Good.
I was not “cute” growing up… It’s probably the last adjective anyone would assign to me. I was surly and withdrawn. I didn’t stand out in a good way or a bad way. I didn’t look for trouble and he thought I was boring. I was just kind of there. Silently stewing… Observing… When they coined the phrase “watch out for the quiet ones,” they meant me. My mouth wasn’t moving but my mind was going a mile a minute.
I don’t know if generally being left alone/ignored led to my obsessing over my surroundings but I am extremely organized… to the point of being handicapped. I start to twitch if someone moves something out of place… So creative juices only start flowing once everything around me is neatly in its place. Some days it never gets there. Sitting down to write only comes after a little decluttering and Swiffering of the furniture. Does it help that I’m terrified of creativity? Probably not. (A college professor termed it as “productive procrastination.”)
I am ultimately a collection of weird little habits, pet peeves and idiosyncrasies. Including my hatred for avocado to eating my food in concentric circles – a tendency I’ve thankfully outgrown. (I’ll probably have to dedicate an entire post just on that behavior). I’m functional and I look normal enough to the average person… trust me – sometimes that is all I can ask for.
Over the years I’ve grown and changed… for the better? In some ways. But crazy is as crazy does and maybe the only thing that has really changed is my ability to take me as I am. Warts, white hangers and all.
But I’m not the only one who’s a little weird, right? Right? Bueller?