I am a creature of habit. I find a lot of comfort in routine. I try to sit in the same place in my yoga classes. I like to order the same dishes in my favorite restaurants. Every night, I change into my PJs, take my vitamins then take out my contact lenses. In that order. Every time.
I also drive the same route to and from work everyday. It is a short cut through back roads that shaves about five minutes off of my commute. But on Friday, I noticed a few new signs on my way home. Access during rush hour has been restricted on the roads I was using! I could no longer drive that way to work. I would have to use the already heavily congested main roads!
AND I SAW RED!!!!!
“What the hell? Why would they do that? So that a few of the more affluent people in the neighborhood could walk their precious ugly little dogs in peace? We live in a CITY. If you want quiet suburban roads, then move out! You don’t get to choose who does and doesn’t use your streets. I pay taxes in this county, too!” (Pepper it with a few choice expletives and you come pretty close to what I really said).
AND IT JUST GOT UNDER MY SKIN… That night I couldn’t focus, couldn’t relax into my weekend, couldn’t stop talking about it… I slept poorly… In fact, I slept poorly all weekend! Every time I thought about it, I got upset all over again. Who the hell did these people think they were?!? Evil thoughts were running through my head like egging houses in that neighborhood. Or hoping they all got robbed. This feeling sat like a brick in the bottom of my heart and it weighed me down.
This morning, I headed to work and took a different route. It was as annoying as I thought it would be. But I got to work and got a sweet parking space. There was no apocalypse. Dead puppies and unicorns didn’t litter the streets. Nothing had changed for anyone else. And I got to work just fine. A little later but just fine.
I tortured myself all weekend over this thing that wasn’t personal. And over something that I could not change. Something I could simply adapt to. But I resisted it as hard as I could… to my detriment and to no one’s benefit. And I paid the price… I needlessly suffered instead of adapting to the change.
So the next time you run up against something that is or will disrupt your life, ask yourself and answer the following questions:
1. What is it about this change that bothers me?
2. Can I do something about it? (Like write my representative?)
3. How can I integrate this change into my life?
Then take a deeeeeeep breath and play Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy.”
The more quickly you go through the process by answering these questions, doing what can be done and accepting the change, the more quickly things can become smooth again. I am not suggesting you turn yourself into a doormat but some suffering stems from resisting change that we cannot do anything about. And there is no purpose to that kind of suffering.
Now, it’s your turn: How do YOU adapt to change?
2 thoughts on “Resisting change”
I’m not sure if it’s a low tolerance for change or a low tolerance for sitting in traffic, but I encountered a similar situation yesterday when heading to my spin class in Bethesda…and I opted to drive through that neighborhood anyway and just hope that there weren’t any cops lurking 😉 I probably didn’t save myself that much time, and it certainly wouldn’t have been worthwhile if I had gotten a ticket….maybe I’ll just get on the road a little earlier next Monday and cue up some good music to listen to while I sit in traffic with everyone else 🙂
Yesterday, President Obama visited Navy and as I sat there for over 20 minutes waiting to be let in to the base then crawled the one mile to building 17, I felt a similar rage towards traffic. Fortunately, I ended up in my yoga class. 😉 I’m still writing a few nasty letters to my representative and other county/city officials but will also be leaving a little earlier. It’s either yoga or alcohol. One of them will save me.