Tag: Introspective

Beach umbrella at sunset - Antigua, Mar 2010

Why you need a mental health day

Posted on by Yogitastic

What if you had a whole day to yourself? What would you do?

With no errands, appointments, obligations or responsibilities… Just a whole day beautifully looming before you?

What if you had a car and perfect weather to go along with your day?

What would you do? Where would you go?

………………And why haven’t you done it?

We all deserve a mental health day. WAIT! Screw deserve… We NEED a mental health day. A day to get away from life… Our life. I don’t care how awesome it is.

Taking the time to step away from your day-to-day allows you a different perspective on where you are and where you are going. From a changed vantage point you can more easily avoid pitfalls, take detours and correct your direction as necessary. Maybe even find opportunities you may have missed in all the hustle and bustle. You might even hear the quiet voice in your heart telling you what you need.

I always know I am due for one when weeks fly by and I know I have been busy and yet still feel like I haven’t done anything. My energy dips. My crankiness increases (it’s possible and it’s scary). I’m listless and though there is nothing wrong, nothing feels quite right either. I inexplicably cry happy tears and sad tears almost in the same moment. And anything that requires more than staring into space is a huge effort. In short, I am a total zombie.

Last week, out of nowhere I found myself getting emotional over a Nike ad about young girls finding their voices. Then I was perfectly fine after. But a few moments later I was teary eyed over the delicious dinner my husband had made. Huh? What the hell just happened there?

So tomorrow I am taking a day off… from work, from yoga and from my life. I am going to the beach. I am bringing my favorite hat, a notebook, some knitting, comfortable walking shoes and music. I don’t have a plan. Just a destination.

When I return, I might make some changes. Or I may find that I have been on the right path all along. But I know my smile will be a little less forced. My heart will be a little more calm and I will be better able to share my love.

So plan your next mental health day. Yours may not look like mine. Mine doesn’t even look the same every time. And, hey, sometimes you only need a few hours and other times you may need a few days. The plans could be an elaborate spa day filled with pampering and luxury or a quiet day relaxing at home and catching up on your reading. Maybe it’s a retreat you’ve been meaning to go on.

Don’t feel guilty. Go ahead. I’ll cover for you.

If you need ideas or encouragement, let me know.

Remember: Our voices are at its clearest during the quiet moments.

Beach umbrella at sunset - Antigua, Mar 2010

Photo via Flickr (Creative Commons) by Ed Yourdon.

The perils of watching the clock

Posted on by Yogitastic

While exchanging emails with fellow gym instructor, Curtis, I was lamenting how quickly the summer was passing me by. His response was:

“I try not to mourn the passing of summer until September…”

It both shamed and inspired me.

You see, I constantly fail at enjoying the present because I am already dreading the end. For example, when I visit my family, I feel sad about the inevitable goodbye. And I have actually thought to myself that if I don’t see them at all I won’t have to say goodbye! Problem solved! (Stupid, huh?)

I am most guilty during the warm months. It is my favorite time of the year. I am fearless when the sun is darkening my skin and I have a tasty Margarita in hand. I eagerly anticipate this awakening… I talk magnanimously about all the wonderful things I am going to do with my friends… Then the days and months pass by in a blur. Before I know it, it is time to don a jacket again and face shorter days with less sunlight. I am left unfulfilled, incomplete and a little depressed… Great. Just great. Year after year the best season seems to catch me unprepared.

After all, time flies when you are having fun, yes? But the real injury is that I am missing out on fully enjoying the present. On love. On life. On unadulterated joy. I am not allowing myself to completely experience moments so that I can learn from them and be refreshed!  Life is passing me by!

I know I can’t enjoy the present when I am living too far into the future. And I have to stop myself every time from looking at my watch and thinking “oh it will be time to go again soon.” (Unless I’m in a meeting then staring at the clock is a MUST).

A picture of my watch

I need to change this behavior. And Curtis’s statement reminded me that I need to work harder to do so. I can’t keep worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. {Insert cliché on worrying HERE}

I don’t yet have a solid solution to my self-jeopardizing tendency but awareness of the behavior and knowing my penchant for doom and gloom will hopefully keep me in check. I am patiently training myself knowing that it will be a dance of two steps forward, one step back.

Have you kicked this habit? Do you have any advice to share? Or are you (like me) still in the throes of fighting it? I would love to hear about it.

What I learned from the D.C. storm power outage

Posted on by Yogitastic

On Friday, June 29th, a weather phenomenon called a Derecho, slammed into Washington, DC and left more than a million people without electricity. I was lucky enough to have been away for a few days and only had to suffer through the power outage from Sunday evening to Tuesday evening. But, boy, did those few days test my mettle! It left me cranky and sweaty but with some incredibly powerful lessons…

  1. Eat the ice cream. Right away. Don’t save it for an emergency. When there is ice cream in the fridge, every single day is an emergency.
  2. Hanging out in the outdoor patio furniture section of Target is totally acceptable.
  3. Trees are lovely things… Lovely, deadly things that like to take down power lines. You will never look at a tree the same way again.
  4. You will re-evaluate your friendships based on their location on the power grid.
  5. Complaining won’t get you anywhere, but it’s going to feel damn good.
  6. When you don’t have power, you will actually look forward to going into the office. It’s possible.
  7. You will invent new ways to stay cool – like naked brushing your teeth or naked sweeping the floor.

I know I sound like a Baz Luhrmann song telling you to wear sunscreen but if you take anything away from this post it’s that you should never let ice cream go to waste.

What did YOU learn from the power outage?

P.S. A HUGE thanks to the men and women who worked tirelessly in the blazing heat to get power back on as soon as possible.

Photo via Flickr (Creative Commons) by Brittany Herbert.

Falling into emotional traps

Posted on by Yogitastic

When I step through my door at home I always feel like I’m taking a giant exhale from a long day of holding my breath in. It’s like switching from fancy pants to ones with an elastic band. Or swapping high heels for flip flops. Or simply wiping off makeup. It’s a slow unraveling of the day… Divesting a little bit at a time to a more recognizable me.

Then I sit on the couch and let my mind go blank. I don’t think about what happened earlier – what was said at work – something I did that I wasn’t proud of – not even conversations I had on Twitter or Facebook. Just a nice blank thoughtless few moments of peace… At this point my mind is healing from the ravages of the day – from the unpleasant thoughts that have come in and the worry cobwebbing various corners of the day. With a sweep of my mental broom I attempt to brush out the ugly things.

That is my usual after work mental routine…

But not yesterday…

Yesterday something happened at work in the early morning that really made me angry. Someone acted poorly and it pissed me off. I was upset but I did my best to let it go. I did eventually brush it off but it took a while.

When I came home later that day, I recounted the offense to my husband and found myself getting angry and worked up all over again. All the emotions that I felt that morning came rushing back. My heart was racing. My face was flushed. I was yelling. It felt like the incident just happened all over again.

After I was done “venting” I felt terrible, spent and empty. My anger turned inward. What the hell??? Why did I just do that to myself? I didn’t need to feel those emotions again. It wasn’t like my husband could have done anything to help me. I had already planned to talk with my supervisor the next day so what was the point? Was there some sort of masochistic satisfaction in repeating the story?

I ended up nursing a headache for the rest of the night.

I completely regretted re-living the emotions and even now I fail to see any reason for needing to. The smart move was to let go and move on. I definitely lost more than I gained. In fact, I didn’t gain anything – unless you consider a headache a gain. Sometimes it can be as simple as saying to yourself, “It’s okay. I’m done with that.”

I tell my students all the time that we can only be as strong as our ability to let things go. That when you free yourself of constraints your ability to expand is limitless. I forgot that yesterday but it was a lesson well re-learned.

Emotional traps are easy to fall into. But when you pay closer attention to your emotions, you will get better not only at not setting emotional traps but avoiding them as well.

How often do you do this to yourself? Are you able to recognize them? Do you make the conscious decision to avoid rehashing old negative feelings? What tricks do you use to get around emotional traps?

Photo via Flickr (Creative Commons) by Billaday.

Self care is self love

Posted on by Yogitastic

And don’t you forget it.

Taking care of yourself is the best way you can love yourself. And more than that taking care of yourself is also a good way to show love. Whether you are a mother, a father, a  daughter, a son or a best friend, someone out there is invested in your being healthy. You owe it to yourself and the people you love to be at your best.

When I see someone whose behaviors are detrimental to her health, I see someone who doesn’t love herself and certainly can’t love others.

Perhaps I am guilty of oversimplifying the psychology behind why we do the things we do. We all have varying motivations and we all have bad habits. We all do something that isn’t in our best interest. I have bad habits as well. The least of which is watching Ghost Whisperer religiously (Yes, Jennifer Love Hewitt’s show – you can stop laughing now). But I also have good habits. Habits that help lower my cholesterol. Habits that make sure I get plenty of rest. Habits that prevent me from spending more than I make.

Some would argue that eating and drinking anything and everything is a way of showing love. But is it really? The occasional indulgence? Maybe. But caving in day in and day out to whatever you want is not love. It’s a short-sighted panacea meant to temporarily fix a deeper problem or need. Sure, you could do it every day till you died which would be soon… if you’re lucky. At worst, it’ll catch up with you and lead to a prolonged, painful illness. Who can afford that? No one.

I’m going to boldly put it out there that my good habits outweigh my bad ones. I do all these good things because I want to be healthy and independent for as long as I can. I want to age gracefully. I want to make sure that my husband and my family don’t have to worry about me. I want to dance at my niece’s wedding. I want to drive through the country in an Airstream RV when I retire.

Love Mobile for the Epic Road Trip

You can’t fully love others if you don’t love yourself and if you truly loved yourself you would do as much as you could to be healthy, happy and whole. It sounds so simple but I know it’s not easy. But remember that sometimes the whole is made up of small, good decisions made everyday with a goal in mind.

But you have to start somewhere and you have to start now. There is no more time to waste. Whether the new year has inspired you or you’ve simply made the decision to start, I am here. To help. To love. And to support.

If you have any tips to help someone get on their way or if you have a story to share, I would love to hear it here.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, friends! May 2012 be your best year yet!

Image via Flickr (creative commons) by TonyHall.

Why I’m not joining your positive thinking cult…

Posted on by Yogitastic

The other day someone tweeted that doing social good for her meant only tweeting positive things and good news. I rolled my eyes and muttered, “How on earth is that helpful?”

I am a firm believer in yin yang. The idea that opposite forces are connected and dependent on each other – that one cannot exist without the other. After all, how would we know what good is if bad didn’t exist? Our daily goal should be to find and maintain balance in our lives – balance between too much of anything.

Whether or not we acknowledge the existence of negative things in the world, they are there. No amount of positive thinking is going to prevent bad things from happening to us. If we choose to ignore it, we risk being unprepared when negative things do happen. Does that mean we should be walking around like a grouch? No, but there is a happy middle ground between negative and positive extremes. A middle ground that prepares us for the worst while hoping for the best.

Being unprepared for negative events is only one of my issues with too much positive thinking. Another issue is the potential for laying the blame on individuals for the negative things that happen to them. Things that are beyond anyone’s control. The idea that positive thinking can protect us from negative things then implies that these negative things that happen to people are deserved. That somehow someone did something to deserve cancer or some other terrible disease. Or that the guy with the corner office positive thought his way in there rather than working his butt off. These are obviously extreme examples but fall in line with the same train of thought. Ultimately, bad things happen to good people and to bad people. It is about accepting it and coping/moving on. Sometimes there just isn’t an explanation for the amount of pain in a person’s life. It is not necessarily a reflection of who he is. What will say something about him is how he has dealt with whatever life has thrown his way.

It’s nice to believe that the universe conspires to get us what we want but maybe it would be easier on our souls if we didn’t take it so personally. That we just have to accept what comes our way and cope with it as best as we can. You do your best and that is all anyone can ask for. Does this belief absolve us from doing anything? No. Does it mean not even bothering to participate? No. You can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a lottery ticket.

Not to mention that some of the most brilliant and creative minds we know are borne out of strife. And if you think about the negative things that have happened to you, aren’t you a better person for it? A lot of positive change has come out of negative events so why do we think that we’re better off without it? Because it’s hard? Sure. But Thomas Paine said it best when he wrote,

What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods…

Call me a realist. Call me whatever name you want but I’m not joining your positivity cult. Now let the good times roll…

10 things you should know about ME…*

Posted on by Yogitastic
*Post 2: In the get-to-know-me series. (I am still in denial that the series will extend beyond this post and the “Crazy is as crazy does” post).

10. Salt is my weakness. I laugh in the face of everyone else’s need for sugar.

9. I do not drink coffee. I consider it my major personality flaw.

8. I eat meat. In my world, steaks are more romantic than flowers.

7. The dictionary definition of road rage should have my picture with it.

6. I am a book snob. I will judge you based on the book you are reading.

5. I run away from drama queens like they are zombies. They are blood sucking vermin and they vill zuck ze life out ov you.

4. I tweet like my life depends on it.

3. I am a recovering Coke addict… And by Coke I mean Coca Cola.

2. I hibernate during winter. Definition of winter is weather with temperature below 70 degrees.

1. If you own an English Bulldog, I will be forever your friend. F.O.R.E.V.E.R. (Until you get a restraining order).

If you have any advice for the above personality disorders, please leave a comment. 🙂

20111028-171703.jpg

An ode to idiosyncrasies

Posted on by Yogitastic

A picture of YogitasticThis is post ONE in what could be a “get-to-know-me” series… I said “could” because I’m not quite sure you’re ready for so much of my self-awareness. 😉 But for you to understand where I’m coming from you should know a little bit about me. To kick off my potential series I thought of the most salient thing about me that you should know… and it is this…

I am crazy.

Not in that wonderful Kate Winslet eccentric kind of way but more in a Katharine Hepburn no wire hangers kind of way… And while we’re on the subject of hangers I use white ones. ONLY white ones.. Not off-white or beige or like-white… Just white. Okay? Good.

I was not “cute” growing up… It’s probably the last adjective anyone would assign to me. I was surly and withdrawn. I didn’t stand out in a good way or a bad way. I didn’t look for trouble and he thought I was boring. I was just kind of there. Silently stewing… Observing… When they coined the phrase “watch out for the quiet ones,” they meant me. My mouth wasn’t moving but my mind was going a mile a minute.

I  don’t know if generally being left alone/ignored led to my obsessing over my surroundings but I am extremely organized… to the point of being handicapped. I start to twitch if someone moves something out of place… So creative juices only start flowing once everything around me is neatly in its place. Some days it never gets there. Sitting down to write only comes after a little decluttering and Swiffering of the furniture. Does it help that I’m terrified of creativity? Probably not. (A college professor termed it as “productive procrastination.”)

I am ultimately a collection of weird little habits, pet peeves and idiosyncrasies. Including my hatred for avocado to eating my food in concentric circles – a tendency I’ve thankfully outgrown. (I’ll probably have to dedicate an entire post just on that behavior). I’m functional and I look normal enough to the average person… trust me – sometimes that is all I can ask for.

Over the years I’ve grown and changed… for the better? In some ways. But crazy is as crazy does and maybe the only thing that has really changed is my ability to take me as I am. Warts, white hangers and all.

But I’m not the only one who’s a little weird, right? Right? Bueller?